Monday, October 31, 2011

This is EARTH, it is not HEAVEN.

This is EARTH, it is not HEAVEN.

     How we know this statement to be true, yet often times we somehow forget this reality in the midst of earthly lots. We often times get into a habit of thinking that as God's people, we should not have to endure the sufferings of this world. That somehow, because we are His, we should be prone to the lots of sin and suffering. Have we forgotten that this world is fallen? Earth is plagued with sin, and it is only by God's grace that we were snatched out of the condemnation it still remains within? 
     This is earth, sinful earth, where sin and the ramifications of it are present. Why than do we question God's grace or love when we go through hard times? When the ceiling is all you can see from your position in bed, when the doctor brings grave news, when suffering is felt, when your heart is broken, when finances seem weak, when the car won't start, when the job lets you down, when relationships are wounded, when disappointments block the sun, why do we immediately turn to doubting His goodness? Dear sinner, within this earth is sin, it is only by His goodness that you have been saved from the eternal captivity of it. Our eternity has been changed, has been given promised hope by His blood. There remains a rest for the people of God, that rest within heaven. Nevertheless, this day, we still remain on earth.
     In speaking to His disciples, Jesus said, "Assuredly, I say to you, there is no one who has left houses or brothers or sisters or fathers or mothers or wife or children or lands, for My sake and the gospel's, who shall not receive a hundredfold now in this time--houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions--and in the age to come, eternal life" (Mark 10:29-30).  Jesus promised those who are His the blessings of eternal life, but not the escape of earthly persecutions. To those who lose their lives to find their lives in Him, He promises the blessing of fellowship with Himself, but He does not promise escape from hard times, instead He said, "WITH PERSECUTIONS". Life will bring persecutions, earthly lots will be dealt to us, and we will have to endure the casualties of this life; but oh for His sweet love that brings us comfort as we lay our difficulties before His throne of grace! Oh for His sweet love that promises us of that age to come! Heaven awaits. We ought to come continually, boldly to His throne-room in prayer as we cast before Him our earthly cares, that He may give us heavenly hope. When we turn our eyes from the temporal problems, to the eternal joy of fellowship with Thee, this short time of earth will soon be forgotten and heaven will be all we can see for all of eternity. 
     May we bring before Him this day our earthly persecutions, that He may give us eyes to see beyond the present difficulties to the coming light of His return. True, this is earth, but Heaven is coming. Amen. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Living Life Un-Crutched

October 23, 2011

Today, the Lord allowed me to see many different people living with crutches in their daily lives--yet their crutch is only skin deep, instead of dwelling within the difficulties and frustrations of their crutch, their heart is alive and well, they are living lives un-crutched.

Passed by a man with only one leg this morning. Everyday of his life he uses a crutch to get around. I was unable to fully capture the details of his face, but as I looked back, I caught a glimpse of his white teeth--a smile upon that man's face. His heart was un-crutched by his undesired circumstances.

Arriving at church, this young boy arrived moments later. He is unable to walk straight, but he limps his way around at a angled glide, crooked but onward. Our God had a design through that when He created him to be so. He doesn't allow his crutch to keep him from getting to where he knows he needs to be, within the house of God--for it is there that he finds his life un-crutched.

She enters the classroom a little late, why such a tardy? Unknown, but fully understandable as you watch her shuffle her way in. Her legs do no proper functionally, she uses two crutches to get around; nevertheless, you never hear such a difficulty to be an excuse. And her tardiness, no longer remembered as you look at her sitting there. beautiful woman. beautifully dressed. A lovely heart...
a un-crutched Spirit ready to learn more from God's Word.

An elderly man is brought to church; so old you can see years written upon his face. He hobbles his way through the sanctuary doors, walking on the palms of his hands and his heels. Does his age keep him away? No. Does his lack of ability to walk upright keep him outside? No. He enters God's house, ready to worship His un-crutched Father...the ancient of all days, who he knows to never grow old or weary.

Only having one functioning eye, seen as a crutch to most; yet He worships His Lord. He cares not if his view of this earth be full and clear, for he chooses to look to His heavenly Father, and when looking up, the eyes of his heart see un-crutched.

Closing out the day, a blind man stands with his personal crutch in hand, a stick for finding and feeling his way. Asked a question, he does not just stand still as if he is unable to do anything without sight; he quickly responds to the request. His ears received and his hands went into action. Un-crutched response.

Jesus, please give us un-crutched heart! To smile in the midst of the crutches of our lives. Believing and clinging, not to our personal crutches, but to the truth that our God has a plan through these things. Our God uses the crutches and imperfections in our lives to shine forth His perfection. Our God is a God un-crutched and unlike any other...you can lean on Him.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Worship is a Weapon...Worship is a Gift

"And now for a little while grace has been shown from the Lord our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a peg in His holy place, that our God may enlighten our eyes and give us a measure of revival in our bondage." 
Ezra 9:8

     The book of Ezra is  a book of restoring worship within Jerusalem. Captivity had nearly silenced the sound of God's people. The book is filled with conflict, and this verse comes within a chapter where once again, the people were in trouble. This time, it was not because of outside forces, but because of inward personal decisions. A lack of separating themselves from the inhabitants of the land. They had married people of the land outside of the holy seed. They had given into the attractions of their surroundings, they had lost focus of the job they needed to be doing as they build a house of worship for the Lord. The worshipers eyes had strayed, and now they had commitments to people they never should of been connected to. Worship is holy and pure, and they had defiled themselves when they should of been tuning themselves to live lives that are a sweet sound to the Lord. Their instruments had become out of tune. Their worship was hindered before the Lord, because sin was within the camp. It is from this place, that these words were penned. From the position of sin revealed and consequences to follow. 
     This verse is a foreshadowing of what Christ would accomplish through the cross. How His pure worship would give His people a remnant to escape the wages of their sins. How His blood would cover their defilement if they would come to Him in faith and confess their sins.
     Reaching beyond just deliverance, Jesus would become for His people their access into God's presence. God cannot dwell in the midst of sin; but through what was accomplished upon the wood of the cross, we have been given a peg is a piece of wood typically tapered at one end; it is used to hold things together. Through His hands and His feet, a instrument resembling a peg was hammered, He took the nails upon the cross, that our lives may be re-tunned before the Lord, prepared to worship.
     The verse goes on to describe the outcome of worship. Once we have come to Him and been made clean by the covering of His blood, entered into His holy presence, and begun to worship Him for who He is, God will enlighten our eyes, and give us a measure of revival in our bondage. 
Although washed clean by the blood of Jesus and made free in Christ; so long as we remain in these earthen vessels, our flesh is in bondage to the temptations of sin. We are instruments prone to get out of tune, to sin, and to wander. Nevertheless, this verse declares that He will give us a measure of revival through our bondage. Revival simply put means improvement in the midst of something. Our lives were held captive by sin before coming to the cross, but from the cross we were given life in Christ, and the process of sanctification began. He is continually sanctifying us, or reviving us even within the surrounding temptations of binding sin. When we enter into His temple to worship Him, when we get our eyes off of ourselves and onto His holiness, our sight is enlightened, life and freedom is found, and we may present ourselves as a sweet sound to the ears of God. 
     Man was created to worship God, and it is in the midst of worship that we are strengthened by Him to overcome the outward pressures of sin. Victory for the battle begins with worship. 
The worshippers were commonly sent out before anyone else in the midst of battles. We are in the midst of a battle between the sinful flesh and the Spirit, so may worship be that which goes before us. May we present ourselves before the Lord in worship. Coming to a place of looking up, to the One who is above, to the One who is greater, to the One who alone is worthy of all our praise, doings, thoughts, and plans. 
     Application for myself:
Worship is a gift from the Lord for this "little while time" as the verse described such a time. This time in-between salvation and glorification. Worship is a weapon given to us by the Lord to fight the battle of the flesh. Hand in hand, worship is only worship when I come to an end of myself, and lift Him up. Jesus said, if He would be lifted up, men would be drawn to Him. What a statement, is this not the desire of my heart? To see men coming to Christ? If this be the desire, than I ought to start with lifting Him up, i ought to start with worship. In my life, worship is something very near to my heart, it is the place where I can exercise my personal gift from the Lord; yet so often I feel the influences of those outside influences, tempting me to run from such a place, such a position of leading worship. Thoughts that I am not worthy to be apart of it. Not good enough. Unclean. Defiled from within. Not skilled enough. Not having a pure heart. Eyes off-focused, and on goes the list. But this is not my battle to fight. I am to worship, and allow my God to fight for me. He is the One providing the remnant of escape for my sinfulness. He alone can rescue. I need to look to Him when the enemy throws darts of discouragement at me, cause he's right, i am unworthy to be used by God in the area of worship, but through the pegs that Christ gave me, and through His Spirit, He has revived me to be used of Him, I have been given a job to do, and I would be a fool to walk away. Holy Spirit please strengthen me this day, bring me back and keep me there, the grace of worship.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

TALKING WITH YOUR KNEES


October 22, 2o11
There's an old saying that says something like:
You can talk about me if you please, 
I'll talk about you when I'm on my knees.
Some things I know to be true about God is that everything our God does is by design, and relationships are dear to His heart. He's looking not for good deeds but good hearts. He is seeking for those who are seeking Him. Those who desire Him, not to receive from Him, but to give to Him, that He may give back in return--our God is all about relationship. He has been since the dawn of creation. He designed man to desire and depend upon relationships. Fellowship is a desire of His heart, and it matters to Him. It mattered enough, that He gave His only Son to come and die a sinner's death to redeem the relationship of God and man...Jesus is our mediator. Establishing Him as a Creator of plan and design and as a God of relationship, gives us insight when we look at our faces and see that He has given us two ears and one mouth. We've heard this pointed out to us, time and time again, but today the reality of this hit me in a convicting way. If I declare Him to be a God of design; yet overlook a obvious design of His upon my body, I am denying a vital lesson. He has given me more ability to listen than to talk. 
In Ecclesiastes, written by the wise King Solomon, we read,
"Do not be rash with your mouth, and let not your heart utter anything hastily before God. For God is in heaven, and you on earth; therefore let your words be few...
And a fool's voice is known by his many words" (5:2-3b).
Powerful and straight forward verses. But how often this reality slips our minds. Why? Probably because we are usually too busy thinking about our own words on a matter or our opinion, or the next thing we want to add in the midst of conversations. Funny the way it is, that the problem usually isn't that we don't think enough before opening our mouths to speak, but that we think too much--we are thinking too much about ourselves, and what we are going to say next. How often we only listen with one ear to people when they are speaking to us, because as their mouth is moving, your mind is racing with what you are going to say next. We forget that when we open our mouths, it is from the abundance of the heart we are speaking. We read that, we believe it, but than we sadly act ignorant of it, because if we applied it, we would treat that person we are speaking to differently. When in conversation with another, they are speaking from their heart. Are you listening?
Our God is so intimate with us. When we speak to Him in prayer, He listens to us. He listens to our every word, even the things we do not speak, He hears. And the astonishing part, He already knows all we are going to speak to Him about! Can we not do our part to listen to one another?
Is what I have to say so important that I would push away the expressions of someone elses' heart coming forth to my ears in words, just so i can speak more?
The words of man are fleeting, but hearts are eternal.
Our God desires to hear from His people. Throughout Scripture, verse upon verse with commands to call out to Him, to lift your voice to Him, to pray, to seek.
If He is interested in communication, in relationship, we should be too.
Today, I was made aware of how often I do not fully listen to someone else in conversation. Cutting off someone before they finish, to go on to what you wanted to share next. How selfish I am. 
I need to learn to listen with the two ears the Lord has given me, heart involved, and learn to talk with my knees. 
If only the time I spent speaking or thinking about what I am going to say next, was spent on my knees in the form of prayer to the Lord! If this was the case, this heart would be more silenced by humility, nearer to our God, and more interested in hearing the hearts of His people. Quick to hear, and slow to speak. 
My mouth has been doing far too much talking, and these knees are in need of the floor. Holy Spirit, lead this heart into your throne room, cover me in Your grace for I am in need. I desire to see You as Isaiah, high and lifted up, Your glory filling Your temple, and Your Spirit touching these lips, undoing me of myself, and filling my speech with testimony of Your great love, Your great mercy, Your great grace, Your great heart and design for Your creation. Amen.

Friday, October 21, 2011

     "Jangu" Will I Follow? Will I Come and See?

     I walked upon a fisherman's path today...bringing the call to follow Christ more real, more personal to me.
It began as i boarded a boat, journeyed across a large lake and upon arrival to our destination, was greeted by smiling children upon arrival to our destination, the island of Zinga. Taking the children along the shore by the hand, we began to walk through the village toward the school house. As we passed by homes, children stood in doorways, and around the alleys. From my lips came a simple word, "Jangu" (pronounced Jon-goo), meaning "Come". One by one they left their current occupations and came running to join me, the white girl, or as they would say the "muzungo" that had come to visit. Each step they took, an example of faith. Did they know me? No. Did they know where i was leading them? No. Did they have to ask me a list of questions before deciding to come? No. They left all behind to come and see
     When Jesus began His public ministry, He called several men with nothing more than a simple phrase, "Follow Me", (Matthew 4:19) and in John we read His Words, in response to a question regarding following, "Come and see" (John 1:39). Jesus is seeking those who are willing to follow by faith. That faith would be the compelling motive to leave behind one's present occupation, to stand up and take that first step to come and see, that their faith may than be made into sight as they walk with Him--following Him along the path of life. What a call! What faith! And what blessings awaited those who stepped out of the doorways of their comforts and their plans, and chose to follow Him. Oh the things they saw! the lessons they learned! the nearness to the Savior of mankind! the heavenly things revealed to them! The following may of required faith, but it surely included the blessings of faith. How do I daily respond to such a call? Is one simple word from my Lord enough for me to drop all I am doing, all I hold dear, to obey? When He says, "Jangu" am I willing to go?
     After leading the children to the school house, we made a plan to play games in a nearby meadow. Soon, were were walking along a different pathway, leading to a field. The meadow was in sight, but still afar off. Along the road, a couple different paths that branched from it would of led you to the field; however, these children kept walking, choosing to follow in the path that I would choose. The distance to one path was clearly shorter and less treacherous; meanwhile, the one i had chosen took a little longer and was filled with some unleveled grounds, unexpected rocks, and a need to trust the hand one was holding. Nevertheless, these children kept looking ahead, trusting their hand in mine. They seemed to care not that the road had its difficulties, because the company they were enjoying meant more to them, and they had full trust that I would get them to the desired field. 
     As we approached the field, the previous moments hit me in correlation to my walk with Christ. Why can't I trust Him as these little children were trusting me? That when unexpected difficulties come upon the pathway of my life, i would trust the hand of my Lord that is leading me. He has promised to never let me go, to never forsake His children, so why do I doubt so quickly when the path becomes uneven? Did He promise a smooth path? No. But He promised to get us to the field of promise...heaven awaits the servants of God.  He has promised us eternal life. He has promised us that He works all things together for good to those who love Him (Roman 8:28). Do I believe these things to be true? Than why do these eyes stray and seek the shorter way? The path less traveled is commonly the one that is most filled with blessings. For out of trying times, come growth, and further knowledge of the God we love. You, my Father have called out to me, "Jangu" You have called me to come, place my hand and life in Your control, and trust Your leading as we go forth into Your field. 
     Your Word has declared, the harvest is truly plentiful, but the laborers are few (Matthew 9:37). You are seeking for those whose hearts are loyal to You. A heart that is not seeking blessings alone, but seeking reward for blessing Your heart. The blessings of the life of faith. The heart of a faithful laborer, the heart of a servant. Wherever you are, if you are a servant of the Lord, you are daily being lead within a field by your Lord. Opportunities to be an example of Jesus to others, to shine as a light, to have a grace-filled mouth, to share your story--your life in Christ. We claim to live for Christ, so why would He not be apart of all we put our hands to do in this life? So be it in a classroom, be it in a office building, be it making lattes and cappuccinos, be it grilling food, be it cleaning toilets, be it fixing engines, be it teaching children, be it sitting in meetings, be it painting a house, be it wherever you are, whatever you are doing, be yourself found to be a faithful servant within the field He has lead you to. 
From walking a fisherman's path today, I learned more of our God's heart, that we would follow Him that He may make us into fishers of men (Mark 1:17).
Jesus, caller of our hearts, please strengthen our faith, that we would follow You with faith like a child. Amen.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

How Patient Our God!

October 18, 2011
What a patient God we serve!
How patient He is with mankind.
Living within a different culture, a couple things that quickly stand out is the culture's view of time and use of time. 
     Sensitivity to time is much different here in Africa. Things rarely begin on time, and nearly everything takes more time than you expect. 
You often feel that you have spent your whole day trying to accomplish a small task, and that task often goes unfinished by the time your patience has run out, and you feel that you have repeated yourself in every language you know.
As i walked down a market line, getting the vegetables and fruit i needed, my patience felt to be running dry. Knowing that prices were being raised on me, simply because I am of a different skin color; therefore assumed to be unaware of what things should cost, and able to pay a higher price, hearing whispers and giggles from onlookers, as i asked for the price of this and that. Empty arms from that which i was trying to purchase, because I knew that a pineapple should not cost the price they were giving me, as my arms were, I felt the similar emptiness of patience within my heart. 
Then i thought of my God...how patient You are with us!
These are my complaints in dealing with people on a practical living basis of work and commerce, but You, You not only guide us and walk beside us through these dealings, but You deal with our hearts, and our Spiritual needs. 
Beyond that, You waited for us. How patiently Your loving kindness continued to knock upon the door of our heart, as we foolishly ignored, too busy with the cares of this life. Yet once welcomed in, You made Your home within our hearts, and continue to patiently work with us as You lead and guide, and repeat the same simple truths to us time and time again. "Trust Me. Wait upon Me. Obey." Do these sound familiar? You have surely been patient with me, and to whom much has been given, much will be required, right? Therefore i ought to be patient with others. 
     I am beginning to learn that You do not view time or measure time the same way that we do. I view time as a means to getting things accomplished, but You view time as an opportunity to grow. For You are looking at the heart, and time is a means for You to measure a heart's motives and willingness in a situation, not to accomplish earthly tasks, for what concern are those to You? You are the Lord of heaven, You need no help, You need nothing accomplished; yet in Your patience, You deal with mankind and use his time as an opportunity for Him to come to You, to be saved from his sins by Your precious gift of salvation. Your patient love is what has given us life. You patiently waited for us.
From creation, to the children of Israel, to the nations and the prophets, to the manger, to the cross, from the grave, to today, You have been waiting for Your people in patient love. Desiring their response to Your knock. Desiring that they than turn their view of time and use of time toward You, for Your Kingdom's work, and for Your working within our hearts.
     Through lessons within another culture's view on time, I am learning that my God is seeking that I offer to Him my time, not in measure of waht i accomplish, but how i love. Am i loving Him with the time I am given? Am i living willing for what He desires? Am I loving those He places in my pathway, even when I feel left empty-handed? Our patient God waits. He served while He waited, and if I am going to call myself His and claim that my time is surrendered into His hands; surely I ought to serve as I wait upon Him, and seek His patience to be evident in my life. That my focus would be on glorifying Him, not on accomplishing much...for things fade, tasks will need to be re-done, but loving people and giving them of your time, with all your heart--looking them in the eyes, understanding what they are saying, repeating yourself apart from frustration, listening with both ears, and working alongside them--even if that means working slower, showing love through living are the things that last. These are the things that count in the view of our God who dwells outside of time. He is eternal, and as we seek His patience, He will grant that which we need until we make it to eternity.
     Thank you God for being so patient with us. Help me to grow...to grow in love, to grow in heart, to grow in patience. To stop measuring time in things, and begin to measure time in the quality of serving and loving, for You first loved and served us.
Amina.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

When Deliverance Seems Delayed

Mark 5:1-20

     Interesting, I find the order of Christ's working in this story. He crosses over the sea and immediately upon arrival to the shore is met by a demon possessed man. This man had been living under the control, influence, and torment of these demons for a great deal of time and he desired to be freed. Coming before Jesus, the man, in need; yet engulfed by mocking demons. The text tells us that they "worshipped" Jesus, but it is aparent that this worship was not one of adoration, but of mimicry. In response, Jesus commands, "Come out of the man unclean spirit!" At this moment, one would think that the next line would read, that the man was healed and many marveled; however, Jesus goes on to ask a question, "What is your name?" and was answered not with a gentle reply from a healed man, but the demons responded and began to request of Jesus that He not send them out of the country. This part of the passage strikes me. I know that Jesus had full power over these demons. He is the Son of the Most High God. Even the demons bore witness to this in the previous verses as they "worshipped" Him; nevertheless, it appears that even after He commanded them to come out of the man, they still remained. Full power, a command gone forth, but no immediate change. The burden of the demons still remained upon this young man, seemingly in control of him still, answering for him when addressed a question. Why were these demons allowed to remain? Even if it only be for a short while longer, the timing seems unusual to me, that God would command them to come out of the man, but they were still there. 
     Reading on, after the demons beg Jesus to send them to the swine instead of out of the country, it says that, "And at once Jesus gave them permission..." and the demons went out of the man, into the swine, and drowned within the sea. 
From this passage I see this, that although our God is all powerful over the evil of the enemy, He will at times allow that which we seek to be delivered from to remain for a time longer than we may expect. He had full control of the situation at hand, yet He allowed that which was tormenting this man to remain a bit longer, proceeding with a simple question instead of a delivering shout. The question, what I believe to be His purpose in delay, "What is your name?" He desired that this young man experience the transforming power of Christ. For the last time, would his answer to such a question be under the influence of these demons, that when asked anew, he may respond as a new creation in Christ. That as he would go forth into his home and share with friends and family of the healing and deliverance of Christ, he may declare the power of the name of Jesus, the only name that saves, and share of his new name and new life since He had met Jesus.
     To we, His saints, it can at times seem that He delays to deliver us from the evil or the trial that is plaguing our lives, and seeming to have influence over decisions or questions in our life. We must remember the name of the God we serve. He is the Great I AM. All powerful. All knowing. He is in Control. His mighty hand will save and deliver thee in His perfect timing. Trust Him this day, know that His command of  control over the situation has already gone forth, and in due time, He will fully deliver that you may go forth and proclaim the wonderful things that God has done, and glorify His holy name.

Monday, October 17, 2011

The Price to Follow

"Then King David said to Ornan, "No, but I will surely buy it for the full price, for I will not take what is yours for the Lord, nor offer burnt offerings with that which cost me nothing."" 
1 Chronicles 21:24


     Sacrifice, a word we commonly use, but what does it mean?
Things of worth, have a price. The better the quality, the higher the price. The more time or work involved in something, the higher the price. We know this to be true in the dealings of physical things in life; yet when it comes to spiritual things, we often times think differently. If we would sacrifice, giving up something precious, we should expect there to be a price attached.
Within a continent far from home, many miles from all that is familiar I am beginning to learn what sacrifice looks like. Its easy to use such a word within the comforts of your precious possessions surrounding you, but when they are left behind, and you are standing alone, just yourself, before the alter, sacrifice takes on its true meaning. We are told in Romans to present yourself as a living sacrifice to the Lord, in response to His sacrifice for us. Presenting yourself as a sacrifice opens the doorway to tests that try your faith, and leave you with the option to receive the help of the Ornan's in your life, or to press on in the midst of the heat and the flames and continue to give. Giving requires a price, giving has a cost. 
     The love of God has a cost. It cost Him his life. It required He leave His heavenly home, the reputation of His position upon His throne, to take on the flesh and lifestyle of mankind, to give of his time, to live among us, to minister to the sick and needy, to teach and lead, and than to lay down His life. He paid the cost of our sins--and such a cost required much sacrifice.
The word cost, comes from the Latin word, "constare" meaning to stand firm, stand at a price.
As we pay the costs required in presenting ourselves as a living sacrifice, we can be assured that the price gives way to blessings in Christ. Through the sacrifice of Christ, life came, and glorification; and as we follow in His steps, we can be assured that through our sacrifice of self, life in Christ will come, and we will learn to stand. Paying for something gives it a lasting worth. 
I believe that Christ requires us to offer of ourselves as a living sacrifice to keep our hearts and minds continually sensitive to the worth of our salvation. Gifts can quickly be forgotten, but something that requires of you, will allow that thing to take on worth to you.
By sacrificing our own desires, we are given a taste for our Savior sacrificed for us. 
     Application for myself, I am personally before a threshing floor in my life, at this time it is called Africa. Not that Africa is a struggle in itself, but it isn't home. This is a season in my life that God has asked of me to sacrifice my love for my home, to take on life within a new place for a time. It could be easy to think, "Ok, I've come, i am at the threshing floor", and look for the easy way out, look for the Ornan in my life, but to walk in the footsteps of my Lord, continual sacrifice is required. Therefore, i do not wish for Him to take away the feelings that I am encountering, the homesickness, the struggles, the tests, but to present them as a sacrifice of myself, to lay it before the alter that I may grow nearer to my God. That i may learn more of sacrifice, more of the worth of this salvation in which i stand
Thank you God for meeting me with mercy within Your threshing floor. 
Author of sacrifice, please teach me.