Thursday, April 26, 2012


"...So that they should seek the Lord, in the hope that they might grope 
for Him and find Him, 
though He is not far from each one of us" Acts 17:27

     In the verse before we are given confidence that the Lord has pre-appointed the destination of our feet. Where you were brought up was apart of His design. Where you are today, apart of His design for your life. Doesn't this bring comfort to your heart? He uses where we are, regardless of that being a good place or a hard place to accomplish His desires, that being that we should seek Him and find Him. We've heard it said that He alone can satisfy and that we can search high and low and never find what we are looking for until we find ourself in Him...until we come to the simplicity of Him alone. This is truth, however, I personally believe that He often allows us to spend time searching high and low to build a confidence in His sufficiency alone. King Solomon, a man given wisdom from above, having witnessed the Lord's works, still spent much time searching the abyss only to come back to His final declaration, "Vanity of vanities...All is vanity...Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is man's all" (Ecc. 12:8,13). After his search, he came to know the reality that only God can satisfy. God could reveal Himself so clearly, yet He chooses to conceal certain parts of His character that the heart filled with faith would seek Him out. Jeremiah declared that God had a good plan for His people, and that they would seek Him and find Him when they chose to search for Him with all their hearts. He will use where you are and the surroundings you are in to bring you a place of groping for Him. Of searching out the mysteries of His grace in your life. God reveals different aspects of His character in different aspects of life that we face. In the midst of loss, we see that He gives. In confusion, that He is peace. In sickness that He heals, the list goes on, the truth stands firm: He alone satisfies, and He will use your pre-appointed surroundings to reveal to you how near He is. The heart that seeks Him, will find Him.
Application for Myself:
Praise the Lord that if I search for Him, I will not be left disappointed, but I will find Him. I serve a God who can be found, and not only in the good times, but in the hard times, in the face of unpleasant surroundings, I can find His nature there-in. I wanna live with this reality in mind. As I step into the new plans He has for me, I desire to seek Him more. The times we seek are the times of greatest satisfaction, so why do I not seek the more? Today, I am going to look at my surroundings and write down the nature of Him that He has revealed to me through the present destination of my feet.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Only Cup That Satisfies . . .

     The Only Cup That Satisfies

     Before me sits a cup of water, pure, clear, from the faucet sink. Immediately I think of the water of Africa. For those I know who are even fortunate enough to have a sink to draw water from, instead of walking a distance with cans, the water is not clean, pure, drinkable. We are such a blessed culture. Not a very needy culture when it comes to material things. My clothes are in the washer, another load is in the dryer, the dishwasher is filled with freshly clean plates, the fridge is stoked, the car has gas, the closet has selection, the bills are being paid...we are blessed on the surface things, no one can deny that. But what about the deeper things? The water for our souls? Why is it that I can look around and see all these material comforts and blessings, yet still constantly find myself thirsty. I can go get a clean cup and fill it with clean water, drink it, and still find thirst. 
The reality is this: Satisfaction in life is not found in the abundant of things one posses, but in what is filling your cup. From the well that you are drawing your water from. 
     Water...a necessary part of life and living. One cannot survive apart from water. Jesus spoke that if one drinks from His well, he will never thirst again, but of any other well, thirst will remain (John 4).
I need water to survive within the land I am living in this time, but I need a deeper water. I do not find the joy I desire through dwelling on my blessings. I commonly find myself frustrated that I can be so disheartened when I am surrounded by such blessings, but now I am learning that the problem is deeper. Why am I still not satisfied?  It doesn't matter where I am or what abundance or lack that surrounds me, but in what I am drinking from to satisfy. God alone satisfies. 
God told one of His own, "Do not be afraid...I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward" (Genesis 15:1). This promise remains for all who are His. 
He is that which exceeds anything our eyes can perceive, or our hands can handle. Bigger than any blessing, the Living Water of Life. 
     Yes, blessings surround me and ought to bring me to a place of thanksgiving and praise, but deeper still, the tangible will only disappoint if I am not continually drinking from the well of my Savior. Jesus Christ in me is the only way that my heart may meet satisfaction and contentment in this life. 
     To the ones whose water today is dull, this God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). His waters have never failed, fail not, and will never fail. Search if you will, look high and low at all that surrounds, and you will come back to find the only way to be happy and feel blessed in your life is deeper than the tangible, deeper than what you can touch, it must be found within you. As water must be consumed and flow through the throat to quench the thirst of the body, so must we have Christ in us for the heart's thirst to be quenched, and satisfaction to be found in this life.
Jesus' cry years ago, still echos as truth this day, "If anyone thirsts, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture has said, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water" (John 7:37-38).

Monday, April 16, 2012

Pressing On . . .

Philippians 3:12
"Not that I have already attained or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."

     Every time Jesus stretched forth His hand, to lay hold of something, it was for a reason, for a purpose. He would reach out and touch that which was not right, to make it right. The imprint of Christ's touch upon a life changed that life forever. I think of the man with the withered hand, the lepers, the woman with the flow of blood, Jirus's daughter, the widows son, blind Bartimaus, Mary Magdalene, the demon possessed man of the tombs; each life that was touched by Christ, was changed. None of these were left the same after experiencing Christ.
To the man who lived within the tombs, bearing a name of Legion, overtaken by the demons within, Jesus' encounter not only changed his life, but changed his identity. His name could no longer be what it was before. For Legion meant many, yet now he was restored as one man standing before His Lord. In response, he pleaded with Jesus to follow Him, just to be with Him. But what was Jesus' response? We read that He did not permit this desire to be so, but commanded him by saying, "Go home to your friends, and tell them what great things the Lord has done for you, and how He has had compassion on you." (Mark 5:19) So he went and proclaimed all that Jesus had done for him. But what was this man's greatest testimony? His changed life. His name no longer under the control of a demon, but he could confidently proclaim that his name is son, servant, friend of God, and greater yet, is engraved in heaven.
His identity was changed, his life transformed, through the laying hold of Christ in his life. And with such a change, a commission to go forth and share--to declare the wonderful touch of Christ in a life
Christ often touches our lives by bringing us through things where we experienced a greater need for Him, and through our desperate cry for His strength, His empowering, His wisdom, we were more "perfected in Christ". Because through those circumstances we learned more of what it meant to live life in Christ. Not life in ourselves, but life through Him. We come out of these times or seasons feeling a bit more "attained"-- not necessarily in a prideful way, but enriched by experiencing more of Christ's touch in our lives, a deeper understanding of the workings of God.
But out of these experiences where are we to go next? For what reason did Christ reach down and touch you? We see through the Scriptures that He always stretched out His hand for a purpose, so what was the purpose in your case? Why did He lay hold of you?
I believe it is that we would than lay hold of our role in His kingdom. To bear witness to what we have experienced. Simple, pure. We are called to proclaim the wonderful things Christ has done in touching our lives. He touched us that we may have the imprints of His hand upon our lives to show others. He renamed us that we may have a greater name to declare. He touched you that you may go out and touch the hearts of others through your living
We read that faith comes by hearing and if this be true, we have a better understanding of why the Lord placed stories of His touch in others lives all throughout Scriptures, because as we read and hear of these things our hearts lay hold of the truth, and than as we are touched we become characters of His work, that we may tell our story to others and their faith may be increased
This is our call. To bear witness of the work of Christ in our life
He touched that young man, so he could return to his home and declare the works of God. Had he remained with Jesus, the story of God's touch, would only remain giving faith to himself, but through re-telling the story to others, their faith may be increased and His name may be glorified and lifted above our own.
Application for Myself:
I have experienced the touch of God in my life in the last year, and now the question comes, what is next? what am i to lay hold of? The answer, that which He lay hold of for me. He touched me, not only so i could treasure the experience and love Him deeper, but that I may return and show His imprints through my living. I have stories to share to increase the faith of others. I would be selfish to just keep them to myself.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Saying Goodbye. . .

"...sorrowing most of all for the words 
which he spoke, that they would 
see his face no more. 
And they accompanied him to the ship." 
Acts 20:38



I envision this scene of tears, sounds of snuffles, as a group walks together to a ship. Taking in every last moment of their time with Paul, and than sending him away, knowing that it was probably the last farewell. I picture the times that I have left people I love and how walking them to the car is an honor, and standing there, watching until they are out of sight, taking in the last moments of being with them. Goodbyes are hard. Plain and simple, no one likes the thought of one entering a life and than leaving. Saying goodbye in Africa always came with a question, "When will you be back?" to their innocent and hopeful minds, they think that i will return again soon, they don't understand all the logistics and finances behind coming so far. The only response I could give was, "We are going to be spending eternity together, so yes, we will see each other again someday." But as we drove away, I realized the immense price behind those words. The reality that I can speak those things and believe them, giving comfort to my heart and the heart I am leaving behind, cost my Jesus His life. It is a blessing of the accomplished work of the cross. Eternity is now open, the reality of the church being joined together as one with Him is only because of the price He paid to redeem us. The price He paid so that man wouldn't be alone. Emmanuel, God with us, God in flesh, dying so we can be with Him in eternity.
I read, "They accompanied him to the ship," and than I realize that, that was as far as they could go, they could not board that boat. No matter how much they loved Paul and no matter how passionately they desired to stay with him, it was apart of his journey that he had to take alone. No earthly man could stay beside him in the midst of things that lay ahead, only One...Emmanuel. 
Jesus would be with him every moment of the coming horizons.
A God who loved us enough to say goodbye to His heavenly throne to come and great mankind. To live among us, to die beside us, that He may live within us. To be with us in all we face. Do I realize this incredible reality of the cross? The cross nailed access to my heart, that in surrendering, I may make room for Christ to dwell. To dwell in each difficulty, in each joy, in each tear, in each decision. Christ is not just among us as the church, but indwelling our hearts. The heart that gives you the beat for everything you do. He is Emmanuel. God in my living. God in my breathing. God in my working. God in my sleeping, my laughing, my weeping, my pain, my rest...my greetings and my times of goodbyes. He is the Beginning and the End, the Author and the Finisher of our faith (Rev. 22:13, Heb. 12:2). He delights to live within us, that the world may be introduced to Him when they met us.
Application for myself:
Do i introduce Christ to the people I meet? Am I living in such a way that He is seen as Emmanuel, God with us? As I look at the calendar, I am aware that this season of farewell is quickly ending. Although it can be hard to say goodbye, and although those around me, whom I have grown to love, cannot enter the boat that awaits for me, I can rest assured that the Author of my life is ending this chapter to begin a new chapter. He had deeper things for Paul to walk into, and so He has deeper things for me to experience. Although all other surroundings may change, one thing remains, He is Emmanuel, and He is God with us, all of us, in whatever way He wills for our boat to sail away.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Ministry Through Tears . . .

"Then they all wept freely, and fell on 
Paul's neck and kissed him," 
Acts 20:37


Psalm 126:6 declares, "Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Throughout the Scriptures we read of many saints shedding tears during their times of ministry. I've heard it said time and time again that a Christian ought to be joyful and happy because of the hope within them, because their destination is secure, God is on the throne and we are going to heaven. However, the longer i walk with the Lord, the more I find tears to fall from my eyes. The more my sin causes me to weep and my heart gets involved and broken in what I am putting my hands toward. This verse in Psalms has become a reality to me. The field of ministry has asked of me to sow in tears many a time, and there are seasons when it seems that weeping is continual. At times I think that emotions are streaming from a over-dramatic look at things or a mind that is thinking too deeply but by looking at a verse like this in Acts I am learning that tears are apart of ministry. Tears come from deep within, showing forth a deep connection to what your eyes perceive. If love is in action, characteristics of love show forth in smiles, in healings, in hurt, in memories, and in tears. Caring for someone or something commonly requires tears to fall. I think of Jesus, when one he loved left earth, Lazarus, we are told that He wept (John 11:35). A common reaction to death, right? But what strikes me is that through this, He had a plan. He knew the outcome, and it was one that would bring smiles not tears. He knew that He would raise this man from the dead. Why then the tears? I believe that the tears were shed for something deeper, for what His eyes were perceiving in the situation of Lazarus' death. Even knowing the eternal plan for Lazarus, Jesus wept and I believe that even as Christians knowing the eternal plan of God and that whatever sadness we may face, it too will pass, but there are still room for those verse 35 moments. Tear falling moments. Moments that reveal a heart in a matter. Jesus wept for the situation at hand, the other heart's that were involved, the loss, the reality of the result of sin expressed through the death of a beloved. 
In ministry there will be times of tears. Times when it seems that no rain of blessing is falling and the only way the land is not dried up and cracked is because of a constant moisture of tears falling from your eyes; yet this feels that you are about to crack. Tears remind me of my heart's involvement. Tears remind me of my Savior's involvement. Jesus came, He wept, and than He worked. 
Tears can be a blessing so long as they fall with hope. Jesus wept, but not without hope, but with expectation that God the Father would use such a state to glorify Himself and display His power through it.
Lazarus was raised from the dead and many believed on the name of the Lord, and in the same way, God will bring beauty from the tears of our ministry and use these things to bring deeper glory to His name, so long as we offer before Him our tears along with our praise. Although tear-filled, still expecting eyes--eyes looking beyond the present moment to the eternal weight of glory in the matter.
In a hard moment of emotions and goodbye's toward Paul, tears fell, however I believe that God was glorified in this sacrifice of love, because those who love deeply can be used to touch the hearts of others deeply.
Application for Myself:
Upon returning from the field, it has been an emotional time. In first moments, my heart felt numb, so I prayed that the Lord would soften my heart and break it if that was necessary to keep me moldable and to take me deeper in Him. He heard my prayer and along with the answer came tears. It seems that almost daily, one thing or another causes moisture to fill my eyes, but how beautiful the thought that with each tear that falls, His arms are outstretched to catch each tear and place within His keeping. His word declares that He catches our tears within a bottle (Psalm 56:8). I am not to despise the days of tears knowing that they are taking me deeper, and if surrendered, can be used to give the eyes of my heart a better glimpse into the heart of God. The next time a tear falls, I will pray that these tears would be used to keep my heart soft, and moldable, and expecting...expecting bigger, deeper, and greater things to come in the coming days in my walk with the Lord.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

A Deeper Need For Prayer. . .

Acts 20:36
"And when he had said these things. he knelt down and prayed with them all."

Before bowing his knees in prayer with the brethren, Paul pleaded with them on two things, the first, to support the weak. The author of Hebrews wrote these words, "strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed." (Hebrews 12:12-13). I have always placed myself in this verse in times of weakness or when one I love is weak and thought. yes! Weariness is hanging around, knees are weak, thinking, I need this kind of strengthening, but how does this come about?
Secondly Paul pleads with them and reminds them of the blessings of giving rather than receiving. A call that I know is true, yet I still daily struggle with, so in this I too agree, thinking well likewise I need this kind of giving, but how does this come about?
Paul knew the struggles the church was about to face, he knew the struggles he himself was currently facing, I am sure he felt the need for strength and a new fresh look at the blessings of giving. He had given all the days of his life in Christ for the sake of the gospel and was now entering into a time where it was asking for more of him. 
When fear could of been surrounding Paul on all sides, causing his knees to buckle and fall, he knelt down upon those knees in prayer.
Paul demonstrated the answer to such question of how to attain strength in the face of weakness and a heart to give in the face of a taking society.
Paul demonstrated the act of kneeling, the act of bowing down, supported by a knee or knees in a sign or reverence or submission, and in prayer submitted his life back to Christ.
Spurgeon once said, "A prayer-less soul is a Christ-less soul" and although bold in speech, truth this is. If Christ is our intercessor, the One we come before as we bow in prayer, a life without prayer is a life missing Christ as the Intercessor.
Christ pleaded with His disciples in His last hours before the cross, "Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak." (Matthew 26:41).
I believe that these moments in prayer, in submission to the Father's will  are what gave Paul the stamina to stand in the face of trial and to die for Christ. 
Prayer is deeper than closing the eyes and allowing the silence to reveal a awe and wonder...it is the practical submission of your life to Christ. It is the realizing that you alone cannot live out what you are called to do, but Christ in you is able. Prayer enables us to see things accomplished that never would of been if we sat in a state of muteness. Prayer  is us giving back to Him the control, that we may watch and see what He will do through our lives.
Application for Myself:
How am I to respond to the time of weakness and the times of not wanting to give-out anymore. Maybe its giving out love, or giving out forgiveness, or giving of my own goods to one in need, or giving out grace, simply being obedient to the call to give...I am to respond in prayer. When I need the strength to stand and keep giving, I need only the strength it takes to pray. I need to spend more time in prayer, because I need more of Christ controlling my life. Today I will set aside a special time, to sit in prayer.

Friday, April 6, 2012

Good Friday Prayer. . .

April 6, 2012
"After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with witch He was girded." 
John 13:5  

     I just returned from living within a country where an understanding of dirt upon one's feet has been established. Before leaving Africa, I questioned if my feet would forever be slightly stained from the deep tint of Uganda's reddened dirt. I can better identify with the Jewish cultural practice of washing feet. There are two things known of this practice: the action was necessary and practical, and it was the lowly job of a servant. These two known facts give us a deeper understanding of God's heart manifest in Jesus. God's only Son came to earth, bringing to us what was necessary for life, ministered practically to the needs of the people around Him, and set for us the example of life in Christ, marked within serving by washing the feet of others. 
     When I think back to my time in Africa, usually a few things position in my head, some being daily sights, some people's faces, but when I think of how the things I experienced in Africa that have girded and prepared me for what is to come, I think of this scene...Upon the island of Zinga, night time, the only light, that which was coming from a single bulb within a weathered church, and the reflection of colors from the white sheet and projector portraying "The Jesus Film". Surrounding me, children on every side, some sleeping on my lap, some holding my hand, others focused and engaged on the film. The air was brisk and flies were around, but from the lowly ground we looked up to watch the life of Jesus in the setting of the last supper. Hearing the message in Luganda, I could not understand all that was being said, but I knew the story because I knew John chapter 13. As Jesus spoke, my heart was struck, as if God was girding me in that moment with a picture to keep as I return to the states and face the task of being a missionary in daily life--a girding of desire to carry on the ministry of this Man. A deep yearning to carry on what He began. After such a passion stirred, I watched onward, what did He do next? He practically met the necessary need of those around Him as He washed His disciples feet. He took on the role of a servant, and washed. He did that which was practical and common in that time and place. 
Application for Myself:
     I have returned, I am back in the United States now. But remembering this moment, immediately takes me back to Africa, to sitting in the dark receiving Light. I can easily say, I am ready to continue the ministry of this Jesus whom I love, yet than turn and deny from the next scene. He showed His love through washing the feet of those around Him. I may not be called to literally wash the feet of those around me, but I am called to do that which is necessary and practical within this time and place. This means moment by moment, living ready to wash. Ready to humble myself and lay down my comforts for another, practically. I think, honestly, sometimes the thought of washing someone's literal feet would be easier than forgiving when you have been wronged, or keeping your mouth shut when everything within desires to fire back at an accusing comment, or giving up your enjoyments so another may be comforted, or to love without contempt when a struggle of jealousy arises when another is given what you are waiting for; yet if I truly desire to carry on the ministry that this Man began, this is the ministry I must do. As I have returned and soon return to what used to be my home, I pray that this scene washes me in such a way that I may be apart of His work. As He washed Jesus told Peter it was necessary for Him to do so if he should have any part in Him (Vs.8). I desire a part in Him, and with Him in His work, so Jesus, today my request is this...WASH ME, that I may be used to carry on Your ministry, the ministry of the cross--death to self, bringing life in Christ. 
In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

John 13:4

"...rose from supper and laid aside His garments, 
took a towel and girded Himself." 
John 13:4

     Sitting within an upper room, surrounded by those He loved, those whom He had opened His heart to and who would soon betray and pierce, Jesus laid aside His earthly garments, and put on a invisible, a eternal garment...the white apron of a servant. He put on a heavenly garment, the wearing of a servant and although this garment was unseen by any earthly eyes, in fact, until He began the washing, His motives were misunderstood and the disciples were more than likely thinking within themselves, what manner of action is this? But to the eyes of the Father it was righteousness in action, it was the doings of a servant, it was pleasing to the eyes of God the Father. Jesus setting an example for us who chose to follow. As a servant, I am called to wear white. Let your garments always be white (Ecc. 9:8). Servants serve. We see that in serving, He girded Himself, to gird means to prepare one self for what is to come...to encircle, as in putting on a belt.
Our serving is a choice. It is love in action. But when chosen to do, God uses our times of serving to gird us and prepare us for what is to come in our lives. Servants and times of serving open opportunities to things we never before would of encountered had we remained seated at the table. He rose from supper and showed us the way to rise out of our struggles and uncertainties into a girded and prepared mind, ready and alert. God does not desire for His people to sit in a cloudy or foggy state, He desire that they have certainty and confidence in their stance. When we serve, He reveals. This action is a example set out for all servants of Christ. Servants serve. When confused, serve. When broken, serve. When joyful, serve. When anxious, serve. When frustrated, serve. When weak, serve. For in those times of serving, God is girding. He is preparing your heart and mind for His plans. He had a plan for Christ, each day that He spent on the earth, so you can trust that He has a plan for you. 
Application for myself:
Today I will apply my mind to look for ways that my common actions of serving may be preparing me for something greater, or teaching me a skill for the days to come. I will do my best to consciously serve, looking for the eternal lesson in the daily task.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

John 13:3


"Jesus, knowing that the Father had given 
all things into His hands, 
and that He has come from God and was going to God..."
John 13:3


     John was wise to point out a detail beginning this verse. As if we didn't already know who he is speaking of, he reiterates the precious name of JESUS. He begins with such a name, pre-setting the stage of what is about to take place. Jesus. Not just a man, but God incarnate. Fully God and fully man. Not only the creator of the world, but soon to be seen as the Savior of the world. This Jesus, this precious Jesus is the center-focus of the story. The center focus of creation, and the only focus to see life. Moving on from establishing His name, we see His name in character, as "knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands." Jehovah Roi- The God who sees and knows all things. What a declaration of power and control, all things had been given into His hands. An abundance of authority with the decision that would hourly be at hand, the opportunities that would quickly approach to face the hour He had come for, or deliver Himself from the suffering before Him. This is astonishing, ALL authority lies in the hands of this Man, and yet, He will submit in love to endure our pain and punishment, because there is no other way for man to be saved. Apart of His knowledge is knowing the sacrifice. He knew what it would cost Him, and what it had already cost Him. He had come from God, meaning that He had left that which was comfortable, His heavenly throne to be among us, He had already sacrificed and poured Himself into a human frame, being in this place, at this dinner, and He knew the costs that were yet before Him, still to be paid. How did He endure such thoughts when such deliverance was available in His hands? We read that He knew that He had come from the Father, He knew what He had been sent-out to do, and He knew that He was going to the Father. He had the hope of eternity. Looking around at that passover table, I believe that He saw the coming joy of sitting with His creation at the marriage supper of the Lamb. The blessings and joys that await within eternity, but that would never come to fruition if He did not pay the price before Him. Hebrews 12 tells us that it was for the joy set before Him, that He endured the cross despising the shame and has now sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Heb. 12:2). This Jesus, this author and finisher of our faith, knowing all things, knew that for the joys that await, the present sufferings were worth the pain. Does this not make you feel valuable? 
Application for myself:
How often I feel like He doesn't seem to see what I am going through...but here in, I see His name, Jesus, the God who sees all things and He saw me as valuable. He saw me worth the price of sin. He endured the cross that I may have a seat reserved at the coming feast. I need to cling to this name, He sees, He knows, and He knows that the struggles of today are not worthy to be compared to what awaits. It was joy that lead Him on, may it be His joy in me that leads me on in this time of returning and readjusting to the changes that surround.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Remaining At The Cross

April 4, 2012
Remaining At The Cross
I think of the cross during this passion week, and I think of the reality that only John was found at the foot of the cross as Jesus died. Was there not twelve disciples who had walked with Jesus daily for three years? Yet here-in the darkest hour, the hour Jesus had come into the world for, only one disciple is noted. All others had fled, betrayed, run, hid...John alone stood there. Risking his life for something greater than earthly living--faith stirring within him--the hope of eternal life through the Man on that tree, Jesus Christ. 
What was it that kept him there when all other's flesh had failed and caused them to run. Peter was passionate and zealous for the Lord and I believe he had a genuine heart in his claims to follow till the end. Peter likewise had followed and seen all the miracles, enjoyed the fellowship, experienced change; yet what was it about John? What was it that set him apart to be able to stand that day?
We don't know much about John at this point, except that he is titled as, "The disciple whom Jesus loved." John's love toward Jesus is evident in the gospels, but greater yet is Jesus' love upon him that enabled such an evidence.
I believe that it was John's response to the great LOVE of God that enabled him to remain at the cross. 
Not passion. Not zeal. No promises. No miracles. Nothing material...LOVE.
His heart's response to Christ's love poured out upon Him. It wasn't that he was loved more by Jesus, but that he had an open heart to receive more of Christ's love. That receiving being what lead him there, to the cross--to a place of sorrow, suffering, risk, pain, but deeper still, a place of grace, mercy, victory, and LOVE.
LOVE poured out upon a tree.
A love that has saved you and I. A love that has changed us. A love that has sustained us. A love that has given us hope. called us. taught us. 
Now, a love that beckons us to be a "John" or to run, a call-out to lay down our lives at such a place as Calvary, and from there take up our crosses and follow.
It was LOVE that lead John and kept John, and it is that same LOVE that will lead us on and keep us this day and forevermore.
Oh the unchanging LOVE OF GOD!